God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize