He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
