WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
