ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
