operation have a gay friend backfired
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize