She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
