They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
