So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize