epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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