sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
