You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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