The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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