Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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