I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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