Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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