So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
