we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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