is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
