I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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