If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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