Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
