we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
