plz talk dirty to me
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
