he shaved USA in his pubs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
