So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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