i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
