Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
