you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
