Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
