You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
