Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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