North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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