remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
