Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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