I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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