omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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