Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
