He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
