She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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