He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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