My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
