I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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