Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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