he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
