I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
