O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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