i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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