that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
