what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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