I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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