This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
