I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
