I puked a lego.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
