they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
