look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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