Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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