Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize