Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
