if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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