I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
