did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
