in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
