doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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