apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
