when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
