She said her name was "party"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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