Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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