I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
