Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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