he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize