I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
